I'm one week post-op, and I am overwhelmed with the grace, love and mercy shown to me and my family. Let me share the journey of this past week with you!
Last Tuesday, my husband and I journeyed up to Johns Hopkins for my scheduled surgery. I felt an indescribable peace on the two hour trip up to Baltimore, and David and I shared lots of laughs together. It felt strange, knowing that I was about to be in surgery, but also knowing I was looking forward to it, grateful for what was to come, and not anxious about it. This could only be a result of so many faithful friends and family members who were praying for me every hour. I can't thank you all enough for your faithfulness in prayer!
Getting ready for surgery was an experience! I got to wear the traditional puffy hat, the wonderful white stockings, and the warm blue and white hospital gown that made me look so beautiful!! Thankfully, no one snuck any pictures of my irresistible outfit!! There were many questions and conversations as the surgical team came in and introduced themselves to me, one by one. The anesthesiologist told me about the breathing tube they would be inserting, and I felt a wave of fear overcome me. "Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 I was grateful for God's reminder to me, that He was with me, and I need not fear a breathing tube. One of the surgical nurses came in next, and explained about the foley catheter. I had heard enough- just give me the IV and send me to sleep!
The anesthesiologist needed to share one more piece of information with me. She shared the way they would put me to sleep was with a breathing mask. I was not excited about this option, and I asked if she could just use the IV instead (I'm not quite sure why I thought I could tell the anesthesiologist how to do her job? Maybe they had already started some meds in my IV drip!) She explained that my anesthesia was not the "normal" kind. Because they were dealing with nerves, they needed these nerves to remain "awake" and active during the surgery. She said in rare occasions, people could actually feel the surgery, but that usually only happened when the patient was really old and really sick. Well, I'm glad I'm not really old, and I'm glad I'm not really sick!
The last visit was from Dr Belzberg, the neurosurgeon who would be operating on me. I asked him the infamous question that I really wanted an answer to: "How long will this take?" During our initial consult, he explained that I did not need to know how long it would take- my only job was to sleep! But being the persistent patient that I am, I had to ask again (with a great big smile)! His reply was, "It will take the exact amount of time that is needed!" But then he smiled, looked graciously at my husband, and said to expect a 5-hour surgery time. He explained a few of the risks that we needed to discuss, the main risk being the chance of a malignant tumor. He said he would know shortly after getting in whether the tumor was malignant, or benign. I had not asked the question before, but I needed to know: "What if it looks malignant?" He was very serious and matter-of-fact in his brief answer. "None of us are prepared for that outcome today, as it would involve radiation, chemo, and/or partial amputation." I smiled at my husband, looked back at Dr Belzgerg, and said, "I'm not worried about any of that." I still don't know where that confident answer came from, but I have a quiet confidence that the Lord gave me a peace in that moment.
Five hours later, I remember waking up, wiggling my fingers, and seeing a kind nurse just staring at me (that's a bit creepy!) My first words post-op were: "Can I eat now?!" Moments later, they brought David in to sit with me while I came out of anesthesia. I vaguely remember pain meds being inserted in my IV, with no relief. After a few tries, they added a new pain medicine, and I felt much better. I was transferred to my room for the night, and again, I was asking for some food!!
Overnight was fairly simple. My vitals were taken every few hours. The only concern was my decreasing blood pressure, but overall, there were no complications. They continued to give me pain medication every four hours, and I was very grateful. God blessed me with wonderful nurses and technicians who took great care of me! And a wonderful husband who described me as "groggy, peaceful, and beautiful!"
I was discharged and grateful to be on my way home the following night. The few days that followed, I was so grateful to be on the other side of surgery. I was praising God for the outcome: My tumor was benign (schwannoma- better known in my previous blog posts as "linguini and meatballs!") It was completely removed! I had 100% use of my fingers and hand! And the bonus- I didn't need to wear a sling all the time! I started occupational therapy and felt like I was on my way to healing. It will be a long road to complete recovery, but each day I feel a little better than the previous day.
HIS glory has met my suffering! I am grateful to have this time to REST. It is amazing to me how I can not multi-task right now...at all. Some of that may be the medication, some of that is just the limited use of my right side. But focusing on one task at a time has given me time to really appreciate the things around me, and more importantly, the people around me. I have time to appreciate the way my family is serving me in this season of life. I love blessing other people, and it's hard for me to be on the receiving end of people's generosity. But right now, I have been overwhelmed with all of the meals, the prayers, the flowers, the gifts, the phone calls, e-mails, texts, and visits from so many friends and family members! I am enjoying all of it- not multi-tasking and rushing through life, missing these blessings. But rather taking the time to heal and soak up the love of Jesus!
